Welcome to the arena boys and girls. Here you can see your favorite people, things and inanimate objects battle it out to see who's really the bad ass of the bunch. Results are declared and written by me, and nothing you can do will change that. If you don't like it, click here for a disclaimer that should explain to you how I feel about what you think.
This Match Is:
Ozzy Ozbourne
VS
Marylin Manson
It's battle of the freaky dudes! On one side we have one of the first to make his living being as freaky as he could be, Ozzy Ozbourne! And on the other, we have the man who has turned it into a way of life, Marylin Manson! MTV has him hailed as their champion, but as we all know, MTV means JACK!
Let It Begin
Rounds 1-9: In the opening rounds, Manson dons all of his full body makeup, fake contacts, diaper, and for the crowning touch, straps himself into a tiny little leather outfit (for all his fans, like he REALLY looks like that for real. And that is a contact, he did not stab out his eye with a pen to get it like that). While all this is going on, Ozzy sits in a chair and babbles to himself.
Marylin: "Watch where that buckle is going dammit!"
Ozzy: "Izzy wabba doo-doo"
Round 10: The two come out of the dressing room pumped to brawl to the death! ...Well, kinda... Manson seems to be kinda weak and frail and Ozzy... well, Ozzy doesn't seem like he knows where he is. Looks like all those drugs really messed him up!
Ozzy: "Maga dilly whoo!"
Round 11: Manson looks around the ring at the variety of weapons that "The VS Battles" has supplied for the blood bath and, realizing that Ozzy is really out of it, takes his time picking out one. But it seems that Ozzy has a visitor in the stands.
Marylin: "Which will it be?"
Ozzy's manager in the stands: "Uhh, Ozz-Man, you're supposed to be kicking his ass?"
Round 12: Manson makes his move to his weapon! It looks like Ozzy could be in some real trouble if his brain doesn't snap out of his "burnt out" session.
Marylin: "I think that the 14 lb. sledgehammer is a god choice.."
Ozzy: "Nibby nalla coo-wah?"
Round 13: What's this? It seems that Manson;s weak, fragile and useless body are unable to even pry the hammer off of the wall! It seems that being a skinny ass freak doesn't pay when it comes down to fisticuffs. It seems that this could take longer than expected!
Marylin: "Oh crap on a stick. Well I guess the sword will do."
Ozzys manager in the stands: "Get the %&@#$ lead out! KILL HIM!"
Ozzy: "Homina?"
Round 14: Manson, finding that he cannot get the sword to move runs around the arena, trying to find something that his frail body can weild with any affectiveness. He finally ends up grasping a small balpine hammer in both hands.
Marylin: "Alright, I'm going to whoop now. Just me and my hammer. Ohh, this leather chaffs!"
Ozzys manager in the stands: "Get his nappy ass!!!"
Ozzy: "Kill? KILL!!"
Round 15: Goodness! It finally sets in that Ozzy is here to do mortal combat, and he seems ready! Seeing Manson on the approach with his hammer sends him into a berserker frenzy! Ozzy bites the heads off of three chikens, disembowels three live rats, and drowns three really cute puppies in a river in a sack with a rock in it. Then he moves in for the real kill!
Ozzy: "OZZY ANGRY! OZZY SMASH!"
Marylin: "Mommy?"
Rounds 16-27: I would love to go into detail what happens in these last rounds, but I am afraid I cannot. To do so would make this an adults only site so gory are the details. The actual time span for these last rounds is several hours, 2 of which Manson was still alive for. And he did not look happy. I can tell you where his body part ended up.... most of him was left in a 12 foot circle in the middle of the arena, most looking like salsa. His toes, however, were found hanging on the Arc de Triumph in France, his right thumb was found in a pie in eastern Australia, and his "unit" was found in a rather small tree in Otsego MN.
Your winner is:
The Ozz-man
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non-nerds who have come to this page and said "What the ^&*@! is this?"
Check out all the VS Battles that have happened in the past by clicking here. Or take a look at the new rules.